Attraction - You first

So you want that hot woman you saw in the club last night? Don’t we all. And you want to know how to get her? That’s what you’re here for, right? You absolutely can and will find what you’re looking for. But if you always want to get what you want, and keep it, we need to cut through some bullshit first.

Most people fail to understand a fundamental thing about wanting things, especially other people. That you can be patient and “find what you want”. Worse, people will tell you to just “be yourself” when you find it! Who hasn’t heard that when asking advice about attracting someone, or getting back with someone, or avoiding an argument? We’ve all given that talk. And we’ve all heard it said to us.

“Be yourself and you’ll find what you’re looking for”, they say.

Bull. Shit.

That’s not how this works. It is not the way. You do not attract what you want. You attract who you are. If you want better, increase your value and become better. Only then, will better find you. Read that again.

Let’s say your friend tells you he wants to meet a gorgeous woman - an elegant, confident, sexy, intelligent woman who is fit and healthy, sober, non-combative, kind and thoughtful. There are a lot of women like this out there to choose from, by the way.

Now imagine your friend doesn’t care what clothes he wears. He doesn’t work out or eat well himself. He is overweight. He has bad posture. He gets cranky and bossy when he drinks, which he loves to do almost every night. He hasn’t remembered his family’s or friends birthdays in years and he never ever buys gifts for anyone. No judgement on him either. There are lots of people like this out there. 

But let’s get back to what he said he wants and lets get real about it. How do you think that man going to attract and keep the woman he described? To do that, he needs to be congruent with her wants and values, as well as his own. And he needs to know how to handle her at her best, and her worst. And he’s not going to have much success if he is the polar opposite of who she is!

So the next time you’re day dreaming about that perfect person and what you want in them, stop and take time to consider whether your own list of traits is compatible with what you’re asking for. If they’re not, either realign your expectations or challenge yourself to become who you need to be to attract who you want to have.

Look in the mirror, focus on you. Define who you are and who you want to be. Then take action!

Taking steps to become who you want to be will definitely help attract what you want in life.

The only thing you have to lose is the old you.

Define it to find it - a short guide to finding who you want. - YouTube